Who pays for this shit?
A few years back when I lived in Leeds I started putting together a self-guided trail of nude public sculpture in the city centre. No, I'm not entirely sure why either. Mercifully it didn't get very far, although I did walk part of the intended route with a friend's girlfriend - who I had something of a crush on at the time - when I bumped into her on her way to work (Christ that sounds premeditated). As potential romantic gambits go it was a stinker, but she seemed mildly amused by my poorly-researched trail all the same, although needless to say we remained just friends thereafter.
Anyway, all of this was pushed to the back of my mind until I started noticing even more brazen nakedness wrought in metal and stone as I wandered around Stockholm. At the same time I was spotting - and in one case tripping over - some seriously weird statues. It may not be a trail, and I sure as hell can't tell you one decent fact about any of the following, but on a personal level I feel as if I'm atoning for my failure to see the project through in Leeds. So in no particular order I give to you...
(1) Guy sat on a rock, Tegnerlunden
Hanging out, hanging out, checking himself out...
(2) A cheery wave from a stranded hermaphrodite, City Hall gardens
Man concerns himself with the view over the water. I saw you copping a perv!
(3) All kinds of weird, City Hall gardens
Where to begin?
(4) Snakes in a cave, City Hall gardens
There was someone taking a nap in here just before I took this picture, brave guy.
(5) Child playing some kind of harp fish, City Hall
Note shoddy donkey statue in background; I guess you could say this is killing two turds with one stone...
(6) Little fat guy, Drottninggatan
Looks like your mum.
(7) Reuterswards Naked Knotted Gun, Drottninggatan
Straying from the theme perhaps, but this sculpture is quite famous, and not just because it's outside Desigual.
(8) Craptastic Mr Fox, Stromgatan
They should put up signs warning that around the corner there's a low-level metal lump in the image of a, er, homeless fox.
(9) Fun boy/girl three, Kunliga Slottet
Word on the street is these kids are going to be as big as Ace of Bass
(10) Man staring at cafe, Djurgarden
Seriously, I would love to know the story behind this one. Was it a former owner? A favourite customer? Is the hands-in-pockets pose significant?